Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hollywood law #7

All jocks must have an aggressive and controlling father who lives through them.

Monday, May 29, 2006

My favourite tv show:

Temporary station close

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Potato, potato. Tomato, tomato.

You're saying it wrong, go fuck yourself.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

A very disturbing mental image.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hollywood law #6

If a woman ever vomits for no apparent reason SHE IS PREGNANT.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Genius is my middle name."

Really? Because I could have sworn it was 'incompetent moron'.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"Pinch and a punch for the first of the month!"

"Pinch and a punch and if you say that one more time I will tear your eyelids off with my teeth!"

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Hollywood law #5

All winning goals must be scored during the last 5 seconds of the game.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I prefer non-contact sports

Such as tetris.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


This product may cause illness or injury.
Some side effects include death.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Hey, why don't you get yourself a drink?

There's ice in the freezer, right next to the SHUT THE FUCK UP!