Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hollywood law #7

All jocks must have an aggressive and controlling father who lives through them.

Monday, May 29, 2006

My favourite tv show:

Temporary station close

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Potato, potato. Tomato, tomato.

You're saying it wrong, go fuck yourself.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

A very disturbing mental image.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hollywood law #6

If a woman ever vomits for no apparent reason SHE IS PREGNANT.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Genius is my middle name."

Really? Because I could have sworn it was 'incompetent moron'.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"Pinch and a punch for the first of the month!"

"Pinch and a punch and if you say that one more time I will tear your eyelids off with my teeth!"

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Hollywood law #5

All winning goals must be scored during the last 5 seconds of the game.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I prefer non-contact sports

Such as tetris.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

WARNING:

This product may cause illness or injury.
Some side effects include death.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Hey, why don't you get yourself a drink?

There's ice in the freezer, right next to the SHUT THE FUCK UP!