Friday, March 31, 2006

And then I suddenly realised...

Fish don't actually have fingers.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Well don't ask me

I think my creative broke.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Hollywood law #1

All children's/comedy movies MUST include AT LEAST one scene in which a male character is hit in the crotch.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Delfin: One word

Noblackpeople.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Did anyone else?

Notice how there seems to be a law in certain olympic sports ensuring that at least 99.9% of women competing must have a certain haircolour?
ie: All professional snow boarders and pole vaulters are blondes.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

(Somebody got out of the wrong side of the sleeping pod this morning)

If you kill me I swear to god I will kill you.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The most depressing thing ever:

I was so bored that I watched a documentary on snail breeding in Slovenia.
I'm going to go kill myself now.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Attempt the seventh:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or am I going to let this infantile saga die gracefully?

Whoops, too late.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Attempt the sixth:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or just the side effects of my antidepressants?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Attempt the fifth:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or do you just suffer from elephantitis in the left testicle?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Attempt the fourth:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or just someone's dismembered genitalia?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Attempt the third:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or just a solid gold life size model of a hamster?

Attempt the second:

Is that a mobile phone in your pocket, or just the decomposing body of a dead premature baby?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Attempt the first:

Is that a penis in your pocket, or are you...damn it.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Just out of interest

Why do all the teachers at my school have a speech impediment?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Fun fact:

Libraries are full of psychos.