Health kills!
Recently you may have noticed that our teachers and parents have been discussing the type of food served in our school canteen, presumably in an evil lair in the Caribbean.
Over martinis they decided to attempt to deny us the freedom of speech be choosing what we can and can't eat!
Predictably, I vowed to rebel against this conformist health trend. Just because consuming too much grease can cause a premature death or two, doesn't mean we shouldn't eat it! Technically, chips are still a vegetable, deep fried in boiling oil or not. TAKE A STAND! Refuse to be force fed rabbit food!
We should not be banned from overindulging in pizza, chips, and deep fried moose jelly...or what ever those revolting chiko rolls are made of.
Has anyone ever considered the possibility that health food can be bad for you?
McDonald's salads for instance. Has it actually been scientifically proven that they don't cause cancer, or outbreaks of the bubonic plague?
Besides, even if this so called 'health food' isn't bad for us in the begining, by the time it has been within a 20km radius of the school canteen, it will be.
Didn't they watch Supersize Me? That Morgan guy threw up with happiness! His liver became so healthy that it eventually accquired the contistency of pate! In fact, I am willing to bet that he only did that ducumentary so that he could get away from all those disgusting vegan salads and fart inducing lentil burgers that his 'loving' girlfriend shoves down his throat.
Well, I think that I have proved my point. Junk food is good for you. I rest my case.
Over martinis they decided to attempt to deny us the freedom of speech be choosing what we can and can't eat!
Predictably, I vowed to rebel against this conformist health trend. Just because consuming too much grease can cause a premature death or two, doesn't mean we shouldn't eat it! Technically, chips are still a vegetable, deep fried in boiling oil or not. TAKE A STAND! Refuse to be force fed rabbit food!
We should not be banned from overindulging in pizza, chips, and deep fried moose jelly...or what ever those revolting chiko rolls are made of.
Has anyone ever considered the possibility that health food can be bad for you?
McDonald's salads for instance. Has it actually been scientifically proven that they don't cause cancer, or outbreaks of the bubonic plague?
Besides, even if this so called 'health food' isn't bad for us in the begining, by the time it has been within a 20km radius of the school canteen, it will be.
Didn't they watch Supersize Me? That Morgan guy threw up with happiness! His liver became so healthy that it eventually accquired the contistency of pate! In fact, I am willing to bet that he only did that ducumentary so that he could get away from all those disgusting vegan salads and fart inducing lentil burgers that his 'loving' girlfriend shoves down his throat.
Well, I think that I have proved my point. Junk food is good for you. I rest my case.