Friday, September 30, 2005

Health kills!

Recently you may have noticed that our teachers and parents have been discussing the type of food served in our school canteen, presumably in an evil lair in the Caribbean.
Over martinis they decided to attempt to deny us the freedom of speech be choosing what we can and can't eat!
Predictably, I vowed to rebel against this conformist health trend. Just because consuming too much grease can cause a premature death or two, doesn't mean we shouldn't eat it! Technically, chips are still a vegetable, deep fried in boiling oil or not. TAKE A STAND! Refuse to be force fed rabbit food!
We should not be banned from overindulging in pizza, chips, and deep fried moose jelly...or what ever those revolting chiko rolls are made of.
Has anyone ever considered the possibility that health food can be bad for you?
McDonald's salads for instance. Has it actually been scientifically proven that they don't cause cancer, or outbreaks of the bubonic plague?
Besides, even if this so called 'health food' isn't bad for us in the begining, by the time it has been within a 20km radius of the school canteen, it will be.
Didn't they watch Supersize Me? That Morgan guy threw up with happiness! His liver became so healthy that it eventually accquired the contistency of pate! In fact, I am willing to bet that he only did that ducumentary so that he could get away from all those disgusting vegan salads and fart inducing lentil burgers that his 'loving' girlfriend shoves down his throat.

Well, I think that I have proved my point. Junk food is good for you. I rest my case.

Down with shoe nazis!

They wait.
Prowling the school.
Lurking behind doors and gates...waiting to prey on students.
No, not the Jackson Five - SHOE NAZIS!
This ludicrously evil cult of teachers have been handing out detentions WAY too often.
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
Who cares if our shoes are permanently scuffed?
Why does it matter if our shirts are or aren't tucked in?
What difference does it make if our pockets are full to the brim with weed?

Apparently these so called 'accredited teachers' want to uphold the 'reputation' of the 'school'.
WHAT REPUTATION?
THE ONE FOR BEING BURNT DOWN?
OR THE ONE FOR BEING BURNT DOWN AGAIN?!?!
Face it, principal, it's too late.
You can't salvage anything from these tattered ruins.
Somebody needs to let go.

As long as we have our health and each other, why should we worry about whether or not our clothing conforms to the school uniform?
Or the fact that we are off our faces?
In the end, does it really matter?
ISN'T NOT BEING FROM NEW ZEALAND GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?!

Note to self

What exactly is it about 'funsize' chocolate bars that makes them more fun than kingsize bars?

Did you know?

The sound you hear when you put your ear up to a shell is actually your soul crying.

Capsicum

Nobody really likes capsicum.
They just pretend to so they don't hurt its feelings.

Undo

Sometimes I forget that in most aspects of life, there is no undo key...

"Congratulations! You have just created a new blog!"
"Control z! CONTROL Z!!!"
What have I done?
Oh crap. I just created a web site.